Interviewed to launch a missile in NASA, 🚀 onboarded to push buttons 💻.

🎭 When Job Interviews Turn Into Stand-Up Comedy — And You’re the Punchline.

This blog is not scripted.
This is my real life, my real interviews, and my real suffering.
The purpose?
To gently educate the “well-educated” to lower their education levels a bit…
…and talk to humans like humans.
Thank you. 🙏😄

---

🎤 Introduction: Interviews Today Feel Like Netflix Drama Episodes

Every time I go for an interview—especially for NOC roles—I feel like I accidentally walked into a meeting for:

• A CFO position

• A Board Member role

• Or NASA selecting someone to land on Jupiter

Meanwhile the actual job?

👉 “Sir, you will have read-only access and your main job is to acknowledge alerts and sip tea.”

Beautiful. Inspirational. Motivational. 🎻😌

---

🤹‍♂️ The Modern Interview Circus

---

🎪 1. Unrealistic Questions for Very Realistic Jobs

❗ Hiring Panel:
“So… how would you design a complete end-to-end enterprise-scale NOC process from scratch?”

❗ Me:
“Sir, I am applying for a support role. The process already exists. I just follow it. I’m not opening a new government department.” 🙃

🎨 Image Placeholder:
[Insert funny cartoon of interviewer asking for a spaceship, candidate holding a bicycle.]

---

🎪 2. The Grand Salary Illusion

Expectation:
💫 7-star hotel on the top floor with golden plates

Reality:
🛒 Thela-bandi package with complimentary disappointment

Bullet Points (with color because life needs color):

• 🔴 Expectation: “We want someone with 20 skills and 50 certifications.”

• 🟢 Reality: “Salary: ₹12,500 but we will give free stress.”

• 🔴 Expectation: “Be available 24/7.”

• 🟢 Reality: “But don’t expect even 24% of the market salary.”

🎨 Image Placeholder:
[Insert cartoon of a hiring manager dreaming of a palace while offering a samosa.]

---

🎪 3. HR Wants a Robot, Company Wants a Wizard, But Job Needs a Human

The whole race is to hire a robot who:

• 💡 Knows everything

• ⚙️ Works without rest

• 🧠 Predicts the future

• 🪄 And probably cooks dinner

But once hired?

👉 I will be sitting quietly, acknowledging alerts, and waiting for the shift to end.

Beautiful use of resources. 😌

---

🎪 4. The “Tell Me What You Know” Loop of Madness

HR:
“Do you know this?”

Me:
“I know it.”

HR:
“But have you worked on it?”

Me:
“I haven’t worked on it because nobody gave me access.”

HR:
“So you know it?”

Me:
“Yes?”

HR:
“So you don’t know it?”

Me:
“…Sir.”

🎨 Image Placeholder:
[Insert cartoon of two people chasing each other in a circle labeled “Interview Logic”.]

---

🎪 5. Why Don’t You First Explain the Job?

Before asking 40 mythical questions, the company could simply say:

• What they actually need

• What the job realistically requires

• What access level the person will get

• What daily responsibilities look like

Then the candidate can explain:

• What we’ve done

• What we can do

• What we will do

But instead, interviews feel like:

👉 “You know how to drive a car? Great. But we won’t give you the keys. Please explain how you’d drive Formula 1.”

---

🎭 Final Thoughts: It’s a Give-and-Take, Not Ask-and-Throw

Companies must understand:

• Hiring is a two-way street

• Not a one-way interrogation room

• Not a quiz competition

• Not a TED Talk

• And definitely not “Ask and Reject Without Direction”

Please… keep it simple.
Tell us what you need.
We’ll tell you what we can do.
And both of us will live happily ever after.

🤣 The Grand Finale of Modern Interviews

And then comes the classic line every candidate dreads:

Interviewer: “Do you have any questions for us?”
Candidate (me): “Yes… so, what role are you hiring for exactly?”
Interviewer: “Oh, we’re hiring for the NOC support role. Thank you for your time, goodbye.”
Candidate (me, internally): Blackout. Brain.exe has stopped working. 🖤💻

Because nothing screams clarity like a 45-minute NASA-level interrogation… for a job that just wants you to click buttons and watch alerts.

Lesson learned: sometimes the interview is more for the recruiter’s amusement than your skill, and your only superpower is surviving it with humor intact 😌💪.

“If this made you laugh—or scream in frustration 😤😂—then either support me or reject me… but only on one condition: forward this to a friend who will hate it. 😎📤”